Reasons I Fall For You

I have come to a place in my life
Where
Romance is found
Not so much in new love
But in deep connection
In mugs of hot drinks
And clear starry nights
Shots of tequila in an abandoned bar after a picture wrap
Rainy mornings
The full moon glowing through my window
Drops of water slinking from hairline to chinbone
Washing off stage make-up in the shower
Breathing in steam and out like dragon wings
Sitting by myself on the porch at dawn in summer
The vast collectiveness of the human imagination...

I don't need you to bring me flowers
As a token of your affection
Or write me poetry
Or take me out to someplace fancy.

I can write my own poetry
And choose my own flowers
And make my own nourishment.

(I don't need an excuse for a tie or a little black dress)

So teach me a new adventure:
Take me on a ride through the outer stretches of your mind -
Because those are things I cannot find outside.

A Full Life

Nobody wants to see a full life in a book of poetry
They want you to spread it out
And categorize it
As if that is the way that life actually works
Like movies - taking heightened experiences and making it seems like that is a whole life
Of everyone but you
So everything we are watching
Or reading
Makes us feel crazy
Like our quirks or our boredom: those things are irregular
What is irregular
Is
The insanity of focusing on one section of your life at a time
Of keeping this neatly out of the way
Of never using the bathroom
Or making a mess on your face
Of having perfect teeth
White and not yellowed by coffee
Even though coffee is consumed in every episode

American Dream 2

Coffee on the porch
"That's living the dream", she said
And I watched her flounce away holding the hand of a four year old foster child
Soon to be reunited with grandma
Because the system
The system
Swoops in and drowns small children before they are breathing
The system
Gives and takes and takes and gives like a corroded god-head

Watching movies from the fifties makes me feel like smoking
I want to strip things back
Pretend there was a time when life was simple
No
There were only times where people pretended better
And stuffed their feelings down into deep wells of earth-shattering echoes
Simple pain
Became the application of make-up
And the brushing of blonde hair 200 times

Minimum requirements

I want to take pictures with a camera where I can't erase poorly processed images.
I want to sit at the creek and allow the cold water to numb my feet
I want to dig my hands into the earth because
I can't take the processing

There are people who say, "Call me when you're down - I'll be there for you."

And those aren't the people who are ever really there.
Those are just the people who are still good at the fifties and play-acting
And "sure thing" and "nifty" and "you can count on me"
Spoken idly,
But loudly,
Into uncaring shop windows.

Jaw Breaker

If someone tells you that you aren't allowed to do something
By all means
Do that thing
Immediately
Without question
Because life is too short for
Should nots
And can'ts
And don'ts
And run aways

You are a soul of finite energy here and now
The world is not permanent
It is fragile
And unsteady
And unwielding often to our desires

So strike out
And perforce put one toe ahead of the next as you cross
Mighty waters
and explore dark alleyways
And hold your keys tightly facing outward

Break a jaw if you must
But press on
And press on

Press on.

Sky Search

When you want to weep...

Do so

For there are times when we must weep,
And let tears fall in hot sultry puddles to the counter-top;

It washes things clean,
And things are in desperate need of cleansing -
But do not end your days in this pile of disaster and cleansing and refinery's fires:
Look up!

Because -


There are still birds...
                                                 There are still birds.