No reason to open your mouth
So you shut it
Stuff your hands down deep in your pockets
Continue to debate on eggshells as the air catches in a pocket in your throat you didn't know you had, but with which you are becoming deceptively familiar
And everything feels like lying
And not lying... Protecting? Someone. Everyone but yourself.
The floor is carpeted with red carpet like your house when you were small
And your mother's old stuffed animals were there
The orange and white striped elephant that smelled like mothballs and old shoe laces.
When you close the door you know you are safe
It slides carefully, careful not to catch your small fingers
And you sit in the dark and suck your thumb where no one can see you
Self-comfort.
You want to scream it. Loud. For everyone to hear it.
Post it publicly.
On a post with your picture.
But you wrap a deep scarlet scarf around your mouth and close your lips around the horrid feeling fur.
Gags are so fucking lonely.
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