When You Are Facebook Messaged By Your Rapist

When you are Facebook messaged by your rapist
You can feel your tongue swell
So big you can no longer breathe
The air can't great through it
It has swollen so many sizes
And your gut is crushing your sternum and simultaneously crushing your stomach Simultaneously grinding your teeth down to the bone
The bare bone of nothingness
The head space you reserved but you forgot
Just a fog of empty blackness
Hazy but a vivid memory
Your fists clenching
Saying nothing because there is no oxygen left to speak
It is suddenly so many years ago and you are fourteen and you are screaming
But then
You didn't scream
Because you couldn't scream
You were frozen
And nothing was reality
And all you knew was the smell of the basement
And old books
And laundry
And mildew
And dusty couches

For a second you think: maybe I should read it.

But you really just fucking can't.