Inner Child; Inner Adolescent

 Part of the Light that used to carry me

Died out a long time ago.

Who were You?

My Inner Child of sorrow

You wept from inside a closed box

The lid taped shut from the outside by some monster

I don't blame you that you were frightened

There was no one who could hold your hand

You were so brave inside that box

I don't blame you for staying inside

Even when the tape came unglued in a span of time that stretched from hours to days to years and many many months of weeping

Those dark corners were so familiar

Why would you ever peak outside into the actual brightness of the actual sun?

You made your own light

You lined up Crayola markers in the guest room because you liked the way they looked

Rainbow in a row; no colours missing,

You were so quiet

It was your secret space,

Your secret rainbow

Because no one around you would allow you to let out the Real Rainbow inside,

Who are you now?

I coax you from the outside because I need you

I need you to come out and remind me how kites fly and how to pick blackberries - can you remind me of the Good Memories? I am so lost in the bad ones.

I am so stuck on this continent of fear,

But you were so brave - even inside that box you braved the wind - you sang with courage,

You stepped up and you filled in the box next to "choir" when Mom said you couldn't sing - how did you get there and how did you meet up with Adolescent Me?

I'd like to see you both holding hands at my Wedding where I lost that Adolescent and traded her in for some kind of Adulting,

What happened to both of you?

I am 41 years old and I am so ripe for the plucking,

I think about the typewriter keys in our basement when Adolescent and Inner Child stared down and Inner Child loved the sound and Adolescent loved the story...

Maybe I can coax you with YouTube coffee shop ambient rain? Or does the coffee smell remind you too much of our mother?

Why does rain make us feel so safe?

Mom used to sing that song. Remember? Raindrops Keep Feeling on My Head...

We knew her Inner Child once, I think.

We reached out a hand to her, and she screamed.

But she was just afraid,

I hear you tell me,

She was just afraid.

The Light in You

Sees the Light in Me

We could meet up again, couldn't we?

With a Cyclone Cone from the theme park covered in strawberries,

I'd share it with you,

We'd share it,

We'd be brave enough to ride the Round Up, you and me;

Our friend is gonna vomit,

But we are gonna hold on tight:

We are gonna make it through the Tilt O'Whirl of our healing

And embrace in the warmth of a Mabon Fire.

We can do it, You and Me. The three of us. Warm cider and a blanket. 

I love you.

I love you.

I love you.