You stare out at the ocean
And the perspective stares back at you -
The vastness
The opaque and transparent completion
The blue, green, grey, black...but ultimately clear...
It reminds me of your eyes.
And someone from a long time ago.
And the knot that resides almost permanently in my stomach
And the thought of you sitting down at dinner with your girls
And me passing the garlic bread
Just...
Friends...
Nothing weird
And it makes me want to scream when I think how
That can't happen
Like there's something wrong with friendship now
Like I have to write a prescription for something every time I feel
Something deeper...
This weekend all four of us were at the ocean. The same ocean.
Different beaches.
And I don't know how to get over the irony of that
The constant picture of impermanence.
The rolls of the waves,
The pull of the moon in the tide
The way when I close my eyes I see yours looking back at me.
Brown. Blue. Brown. Waves. The ocean.
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