Partners in Abused Childhoods

They say people fight when they're afraid of missing each other:
Conflict is a form of intimacy

And maybe that's why we talk about hard things
So. So. So.
Often.

This sort of intimacy is not so scary
Is easier to build
Is wrapped in a sort of chaos familiar to both of us...

More familiar than consistency and support and
Entangled limbs
And sex
And smells
And breakfast
And coffee
And the way we can't sleep in your bed because there are too many things on it.

Building walls to keep each other in and out simultaneously
Breaking them down
Freaking out
Building them back up again.

I curl myself up against your back and you reach across to hold my hand.

Holding hands scares you.
So I appreciate it.