Like vs. Love

I read a play called The Memory of Water
It was an assignment: not for pleasure
And there is a character in it called Mary
And I realized halfway through that Mary was me
In that world/on that plane
And there's a place in the play where her lover, his name was Mike, tells her he doesn't love her.
He likes her
But not love
And he describes love as being willing to be there for three children and day in and day out
And he talks about how he likes her to make love with and to make him feel better
And I don't know what to do with that
I don't know what to do with it any more than Mary does
She asks him to leave his wife and he says they should talk about it later
And you know in that moment that his answer is no
No way
He isn't going to leave his wife
Because she has something that you will never. ever. have.
And you realize that you are Mary and it washes over you
Especially when she says the thoughts you think but can't say
If you die no one will call me
If you die no one will call me
And on Christmas and "bank holidays" you don't exist
And I peruse your photographs and I know that the only one of me is one at your wedding to this other person and we are dancing together and we are smiling and laughing because we have a secret but I don't know anymore what that secret means, and there are days when I am okay with it and I think it's just what I want and then I think about Christmas and bank holidays and death and funerals and realize even then I'll always be hiding and when you say "I love you" that really means "I like you" and either I leave or that has to always be enough.