Refusal in Opening

The Who I Want to Be
So far from Who I Am

Feels like a Constant
Becoming

Just short of [blooming]

My mind barely wraps around this concept before that concept becomes a higher Truth
Head barely above the waves
I taste the salt of the sea:
Drowning,

I
spin up,
Legs kicking - I break the surface -
But the tension is [killing me]
I just want to rest




But to rest is to perish now.

When will the chrysalis fall
So I can spread my wings?
Feels like eternal spring,
And the bud I'm in is too tight to relinquish the petals.